Heart
by violet-tattoo
Summary: Post Season 7. It had been eight months since the Scoobies' final battle and Buffy gets an unexpected visitor that she thought she'll never see again.


Heart  
  
Buffy was now sitting beside the window of her new room in her new house in London. This is where they finally agreed to settle, to start a new life. It had already been eight months since that' day. The day when she nearly died, again, to save the world. The day when she lost Spike. Buffy was completely broken after that. She hadn't even said a single word, but Dawn was there to help her up. Everyday she was growing more and more to her own self with the help of her sister and friends. Now, she learned how to smile and laugh again. But underneath those smiles and laughter, there still has a feeling of grief, of emptiness. Like a part of her is missing.  
  
It hurts. It hurts so much just to even think about him. It hadn't hurt like this before, not even with Angel. It hurts too much just to think about him, about the times they have been together, about the times they had fought, and most especially about the times they had made love.  
  
'Yes, we made love.' She admittedly thought. 'And I don't regret every single moment of it.'  
  
Now Buffy was sitting beside the window looking at the scenery that lay before her eyes. It was beautiful. Moonlight shining so bright that it was like the sun on a daytime. And it was peaceful.  
  
Well, almost if not for the radio playing in the background.  
  
'Why did I even bother to turn it on?' she asked herself. Buffy stood up ready to turn off the radio but something the DJ said made her stop.  
  
"Good evening to all you listeners out there. I have a special treat to all you people who are broken-hearted right now. It's a song from Britney Spears called Heart. Ok, know some of you guys don't like her but hear me out, this is really a great song. It's one of the best songs she has ever done and I've heard. This track is unreleased and was never heard before so you guys are the first ones to be hearing it out. So here it is Britney Spears with Heart. I hope you like it."  
  
'Ok. I'm not a fan of Britney but that doesn't mean I hate her. I think I'm going to listen to this.' Buffy thought as the music started to play.  
  
Spike was standing behind a tree looking at her for the first time since 'that' day. This was the only time he got the courage to see her again, talk to her again, hold her again. He had known all about Buffy's whereabouts after asking Angel to help him, give information about her. So all this time he knew what Buffy was doing, he knew all this time that she was broken and still grieving for him. And he also knew that she did not know he is here, that he is alive.  
  
He watched her from where he was standing but also careful not to be seen. He needed just a little time and studied her features for a while. Her hair was longer from the last day he had seen her. It was almost up to her hips, maybe just around the waist, just exactly what he likes. He watched as her hair was softly blown by a cool breeze and he watched her gently tuck a lose strand of golden hair behind her ear.  
  
'Beautiful.' He thought. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on. 'Just like a goddess. My goddess.' He added.  
  
He watched her turn around but then stopped her tracks.  
  
Heart, I know I've been hard on you And I'm sorry for the things I've put you through.  
  
Flashes of her beating Spike clouded Buffy's thoughts. Flashes of his beaten face invaded Buffy's mind. 'You always hurt the one you love.'  
  
'Oh God. I'm sorry.' Buffy thought to herself. She felt like there was a sudden cold blanket wrapped around her. She felt her skin crawl after these flashes run through her.  
  
Before you start to break on me Or ask for sympathy I need to make you see.  
  
'I love you. I wish I told you earlier.' She thought. 'Yes, you wished you did, but now it's too late,' another part of her scolded her.  
  
'You're so stupid. You know you love him but you did not tell him. You coward! You should be ashamed of yourself!'  
  
'No' the other part of her fought back.  
  
'Yes, you had many chances before but you did not tell him. And the time you told him, he did not believe you! Now he's gone. You lost your chance!'  
  
Oh heart, I'm not sure it's been long enough To say that what I feel is really love There is just one way to learn Sometimes we'll get burned And right now it's our turn.  
  
'It is love. What I feel is really love. I know it now. I love you. I love you Spike.' She thought. And she wished Spike was here and hear her thoughts. But I guess it's too late.  
  
Give it time Help me through Heart we can do this together.  
  
'I can't do this alone, Spike. I need you, please. Please help me. I can't do this.' Tears were starting to fill her eyes threatening to spill. Her heart was aching from loneliness and she never felt so alone. The word pierces her heart like a stray arrow. It hurts.  
  
You're my strength You're my soul I need you now more than ever.  
  
"Spike, please I need you. Please come back to me. I need to see you. I can't do this alone." She spoke aloud now. Tears were not anymore kept but freely flowing her face.  
  
Spike heard the radio loud and clear. The DJ said something about Britney Spears and her song about those who are heart broken. Then after listening to the first few lines of the song, he heard Buffy speak. "Spike please I need you, please come back to me. I need to see you. I can't do this alone."  
  
Spike was Buffy's face dishelved with tears and it nearly broke his still unbeating heart. He quickly climbed up the tree and went inside her room with practiced ease.  
  
Heart, all the hurt will soon be gone If you, if you just keep on beating strong You will always be my friend So keep on hanging in And we'll find love again.  
  
Buffy knew someone entered her room. It was a vampire. Her spider senses was working haywire. Feeling that she has no stake or weapons to fight, she turned around satisfied on the fact that she was going to kill it with her own bare hands. But at what she saw nearly made her pass out. Yes it was a vampire. But not just any ordinary vampire. He was her vampire, her champion. He was Spike.  
  
"Hello cutie." Spike greeted with a smirk.  
  
"Spike." Buffy answered. Her face still has the look of awe. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. 'Was he real?'  
  
"Of course I am, luv." She heard Spike answered. 'I must have said it out aloud.' She thought.  
  
"Spike..." she said almost longingly. Suddenly she burst into tears and felt her knees go weak. She didn't know if she was crying because of the joy she felt of seeing him, because of the guilt of not telling him how she really felt before or because of the reason she couldn't stand him being a mirage and losing him after only seeing him after a very long time.  
  
"Oh baby, don't cry." He gathered her in his arms and held her tightly. "You know I hate it when I see you cry." He said as he kissed the top of her head. He couldn't help noticing the smell of vanilla. 'Still my girl. Hasn't changed a bit.' He thought.  
  
Buffy clutched the shirt he was wearing and held onto him tightly afraid that if she let her go, he would fade away, disappear again. She could not stand it if that happens.  
  
"Spike. It's really you."  
  
"Of course it's me sweetheart. Do you think I would be somebody else?" Spike asked.  
  
"No. It's just that I can't really believe you're here. That you're alive." Buffy answered. Buffy couldn't help it and cried again.  
  
"Shh... Shh... baby. It's alright, I'm here. I'm here." Spike comforted.  
  
"Spike don't leave me again. I can't do it alone. I love you. I love you so much. You didn't believe me before but I do. I really do love you. So much."  
  
"I know, luv. I know. I love you too. Still. Always. Forever."  
  
Give it time Help me through Heart, we can do this together You're my strength You're my soul I need you now more than ever.  
  
Hearing the lyrics of the song, she knew it was right. It was how she felt. Originality be damned!  
  
"Spike, you're my strength. You're my soul and I need you now more than ever." Buffy said looking deeply into his ocean blue eyes. 'The eyes I fell in love with' she thought with a smile. 'The eyes I could easily drown in.'  
  
If Spike's unbeating heart could beat it would have beaten so fast now that it can come out of his chest.  
  
He leaned in and touched Buffy's lips with his. Buffy felt like it was their first kiss. Her stomach was having butterflies. It felt good to feel Spike's lips again. After what seemed like eternity, they pulled apart.  
  
"And you're my heart, luv."  
  
Heart, I know I've been hard in you I'm sorry for the things I've put you through Please, don't you break on me I need to make you see It wasn't meant to be 'Cause you will always be my friend so keep on hangin' in and we'll find love again.  
  
In this single moment they found love again. And they know nothing will be the same again. Nothing can separate them. They know it wouldn't be easy, but they are together. They can face anything that comes between them. Even if it was an apocalypse. Most of all, nothing can or will own their hearts but each other.  
  
"So you're a Britney fan now, luv?"  
  
"Maybe...Maybe..." Buffy smiled and looked up at the person she love the most and thought of how lucky she was having a person she love and who loves her with her right now and for all eternity.  
  
The End. 


End file.
